The Storm Within

It is late when I watch the sun hide * Hide behind the dark mountainside * Taste the salt that lands on my skin * There’s not a sound just the storm within. Evergrey

I had been sailing along in life and the path forward seemed clear. Maybe there were a few waves here and there, but mostly it felt like smooth sailing. Then seemingly out of nowhere came an inner storm. It’s not as if anything major happened in my personal or professional life. It’s more like energetic lightning hit and illuminated the fact that I’ve been heading out to sea and away from my inner harbor. My metaphorical mainsail started ripping apart, and emotionally I’ve been feeling vulnerable and lost at sea.

How did I get here? It all started with a well-placed comment by my husband. He observed that I was “doing” a bunch of things to market my business – social media posts, going to a variety of networking meetings, speaking on podcasts, doing one to one meetings, attending board meetings…well you get the idea. And he asked, “What’s your ROI (return on investment)?” I’d like to tell you I calmly answer him, but his comment hit a nerve. So instead, I got indignant, and told him, “Don’t tell me about ROI – after all, I have an MBA and decades of business experience!” Oh boy!

Once my anger passed (okay maybe not completely, but enough for me to realize he had a point), the inner storm began. Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve come to see I’m not in alignment with my True North. Somewhere along the way I forgot to check in with my inner compass about some of the things I was doing. It’s easy to get carried away in the energy of a networking group, guru marketing advice, or the mission of a great non-profit.

It turns out I’ve said “yes” to too many things, which has left me short on time and energy, and sailing away from my destiny. Essentially, I was using my masculine/yang energy, (correlated with the third chakra), to “do” out into the world, without checking in with my intuitive, feminine/yin energy. (correlated with the sixth chakra).

In response to my inner storm, I’ve hit “pause” on some of my many activities. To determine the ones I need to let go of, I’ve been spending a lot more time seeking guidance from my intuition, while connecting with my Guides and Source. One of my greatest tools has been my morning Chakra Walk, where I read the energy in each chakra and truly listen to my inner knowing about next steps on my path.

I’m in the process of recovering my inner compass and tacking my sails to head towards my True North. What about you? Are you heading towards your True North, or drifting out to sea? Drop me a line and tell me about your experience.